Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Art Of Being A Nice Guy, August 9, 2006

Being a nice guy, many times, can be the proverbial kiss of death when it comes to men looking for meaningful relationships. During the course of a recent conversation on this topic, a female co-worker chimed in that most women today, especially those around 35 or younger are looking for the "bad boy" type and that most nice guys get lost in the remaining "white noise" of life. As a married 42 year old male, I really can't say if that is true or not. But in defense of the statement, I can say that I know a few guys that find themselves sitting on the sidelines because they don't have the attitude, the aggressive personality, and generally refuse to be a "player." Do these guys find themselves in that situation because they're too nice or is their prediciment simply a result of their unrealized expectations in their female "friends?" I would guess that it's most likely a combination of the two.

Ironically, the same day that this conversation took place in my office, I received this email from another 360 friend that would argue the bad guy theory. The email read like this...............

To My Few Guy Friends That I Love...

To every guy that's said, "Sex can wait."

To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful."

To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.

To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.

To every guy who has given her flowers just because.

To every guy that said he would die for her.

To every guy that really would.

To every guy that did what she wanted to do.

To every guy that regrets hurting her.

To every guy that cried in front of her.

To every guy that she cried in front of.

To every guy that holds hands with her.

To every guy that kisses her with meaning.

To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.

To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.

To every guy who would give up their jacket for her.

To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.

To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to be able to see her for ten minutes.

To every guy that would give up his seat.

To every guy that just wants to cuddle with his special movie partner...and not fall asleep

To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what...

To every guy that believes in her.

To every guy who told his secrets and fears to her.

To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.

To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.

To every guy that believed in her dreams.

To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.

To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.

To every guy that walked her to her car.

To every guy that wasn't just trying to get LAID!!!!

To every guy that actually listened.

To every guy that gave his heart

To every guy that prays she is happy even if he isn't with her

Not all girls appreciate nice guys. There's not many of you left out there...and the number of ladies who appreciate you gets smaller and smaller every day too. Just be patient though. One day we'll find each other.......maybe.

Okay, so she says there aren't many left. Or is it that women are just too busy to take the time to really look? And vice-versa for the guys. Are the "nice guys" expectations too high causing them to give up too soon? In this age of instant gratification, hours spent in front of computer screens, speed dating, and general lax emotional self maintenance, I would surmise that the art of being a nice guy (or girl) is quickly finding itself in the same dusty emotional corner as the "lost art of conversation."

What type of person/personality are you most attracted to?(closed poll)
The bad boy/bad girl personality? 1
A genuine, nice, and caring personality? 10
(originally posted on Yahoo 360 on 8-9-06)
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