Saturday, June 7, 2008

Dodged Another One!, April 03, 2006

For the last couple of years, I have managed to dodge the bullet when it comes to practical jokes on April Fools Day. You see my office is notorious for practical jokes no matter what day it is....but especially on April Fools Day. We've had everything from word document spellcheck jokes and embarassing photos turned into holiday greeting cards to major news websites copied and manipulated to reflect stories that involved co-workers. However, the all-time best one came when we pulled a fake fire drill on our newly hired Business Manager/Human Resources Director. (now for the disclaimer) Don't pull this one at your workplace unless your hrd is a complete doofus who doesn't have a clue or at least has a sense of humor. Having siad that......the fake fire drill went something like this.....

We took an old press release from the local city fire department and photocopied it with the text of the press release blanked out leaving only the organizations information at the top of the page. We replaced that text with our own informing the new guy that, in addition to his duties as Business Manager and Human Resources Director, he was the newly designated Safety Officer for our company. As Safety Officer, he would be responsible for holding quarterly fire drills and evacuation training to prepare in the event an actual emergency should occur. He was also instructed to gather certain items that he would need to conduct the fire drill properly. These items included a bullhorn, a stop watch, and the company safety manual. This is where the fun really started because none of those items existed in our building at the time. After aquiring all of the previously mentioned items, it would be his responsibility to ensure that at the proper time everyone evacuated the building in an orderly fashion and proceed to the Highway Patrol parking lot across the street. He was to observe the evacuation from the rooftop of our building and his performance would be monitored by city fire department officials from accross the street. He was told the drill would take place at 3 pm when he would hear a fire alarm building intercom. We sent the fax at 2:45 pm and he found it at 2:50.

OMG! There aren't enough words in the English language to describe the insanity that followed. Needless to say, he couldn't find any of the items he needed because they didn't exist. At 3pm I set off the "alarm", which in reality was an old WWII air raid siren from our sound effects library. So now, hecan't find the stuff he needs, he can't find the roof access from inside the building, and the kicker......everyone ignores him when he tries to get them to evacuate the building. We were standing back watching him and trying as hard as we could not to totally lose it. After a while, his frustration level reached a point where we considered stoping the whole thing, but before we could he went into the General Managers office. Since the boss was in on it, we knew it would last a little bit longer anyway. After venting at the boss for a bit, asking why no one was taking this seriously, and reminding him that "the fire department was evaluating our performance".....Our boss simply raised his head from his work with a smile on his face and told him that he had been had!

Thus began a six year tenure of pure torture for the poor fellow that included even more stunts than I can remember. No wonder he isn't with us anymore. But even though he is no longer with us, the tradition has continued with some serious prankster action going on. So yes, this year I and many others I work with dodged the April Fools Day bullet....for now. I'm sure though another adventure is lurking around the corner. It's just a matter of when and where.

(originally posted 4-3-06 on Yahoo 360)

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love the complexity of that one. My best friend and I also have a blast with April Fools. One year she got me good: I totally forgot what day it was, being 9 months pregnant with child and getting ready to take off a few months. A letter was hand delivered to the door the moment I arrived, "Mrs Snyder?" he said, menancingly, and I said 'Yesssss?".. and BAM he put a letter into my hand "You've been served". Okay, so I'm already freaking-- but worse yet, it was a letter from President Clinton-- well, that's what the VERY official looking stationary and envelope led me to believe. Since we worked in a portrait studio, I had sent Mr Clinton an invitation in the past month to come and have a free portrait taken when he was in our town for a speech. So here I thought we were in the lucky position of having him actually come!

Not SO!! The letter was written as a summons, stating due to the letter I had recently sent, which was analyzed and found to have traces of bomb-making explosives on it, I was being investigated. That I was to prepare myself for an IRS audit and a total and complete search of my house, car and other personal property.

I had to sit down when I read it, I actually felt faint!! of course, had I remembered it was April 1, this would have been just funny as can be, but NO, I was racking my brain trying to figure out how bomb-making explosives would get on my letter. I was almost crying and I went running to the dark room to look at the ingredients on the developer and fixer ingredients.

I was calling my friend's name the whole time to come quick and help me, I was in seriously trouble,... and she didn't come and she didn't come... finally I got mad and went looking for her, after all THIS WAS SERIOUS. We could be SHUT DOWN!! And an AUDIT???? HOLY COW... don't saw that to a self-employed person!!

So I find her in the bathroom and she is facing the mirror with her head down and her whole body is shaking. I am like "WHAT is your proBLEM! I am going to PRISON!!' as I am holding up bottles of developer and fixer, balancing them on my very pregnant tummy.

That is when she turned around, laughing so hard her very-red face was streaming tears and her whole body was shaking. She can barely gasp out the words, "APRIL FOOLS"

I was like WHAT? (Still not comprehending it, really)

She said " I got you SO BAD this year" and collapsed on the floor in a fit of laughter and tears.

When I finally understood it was a joke, I too, laughed my butt off and promptly went into labor.

Can you guess what my daughter's middle name is???

APRIL!
Tuesday April 4, 2006 - 05:54am (PDT)

Anonymous said...

OH MY GOSH! THOSE were awesome!!
When you become a stay at home mom, hubby is deployed (repeatedly), living in sterile suburbia where people don't come out of their homes, there ain't too many people to play jokes on, except your kids...
A few years ago, my sister in law, working with my kids on this one, set out a bowl of what looked like Jelly Belly jelly beans. She would put them nearest the kitchen table where the new people coming in would see them when everyone came over for a birthday party to her house.
Apparently, everyone arriving throughout the afternoon had taken a handfull and discovered they were those disgusting Harry Potter jelly beans that tasted like Vomit, Dirt, Grass, etc.
They couldn't wait till the next victim came through. I was a victim.. LOL

Tuesday April 4, 2006 - 10:37am (EDT)

Anonymous said...

Oh wow that is so great , you made my morning reading about this .. that was hilarious, now you got me thinking on what I am going to do at my work !!! I love jokes and fun that is what makes the world so much better as long as the person you are doing the praticle joke on can take it. When I have more time I will post one I did to someone, although this person was not the type to take a good prank however he was a ass so it ended up being a great prank !! Keep up the good work !!

Wednesday April 5, 2006 - 07:58am (EDT)

Anonymous said...

Good ones, sounds like that poor fellow was marked from the beginning. Watch your 6 again next year Mark lol

Wednesday April 5, 2006 - 08:03am (EDT)

Anonymous said...

Ahhh this is funny stuff....Scares the heebie jeebies out of me though...I hate being on the receiving end! lol

Wednesday April 5, 2006 - 08:35am (EDT)

Anonymous said...

Oh my god Missy.... LOL one of my freinds kids did that on us parents last year. Yuck....

Wednesday April 5, 2006 - 09:13am (PDT)