New Workplace Vocabulary, June 15, 2006

Now that we are almost halfway through 2006, business leaders around the country are seeing the developement of a new workplace vocabulary. This vocabulary has many old words with entirely new meanings. Below are the top 15 words in this new form of office speak. See how many you can work into your next office conversation!

1. Seagull Manager--A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and leaves.

2. Blamestorming--Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or project failed and who is to blame.

3. Cube Farm--An office filled with cubicles

4. Salmon Day--The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream, only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. Assmosis--The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss instead of working hard.

6. Prairie Dogging--When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and everyone's head pops up from behind the cube walls to see what's going on.

7. SITCOM's--Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies get when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

8. Stress Puppy--A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

9. Xerox Subsidy--A euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

10. Percussive Maintenance--The fine art of whacking the crap out of a piece of electronic equipment until it works correctly.

11. 404--Someone who is lost or clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" meaning the requested site could not be located.

12. Woofs--Well off older folks.

13. Oh No Second--That miniscule fraction of time where you realize that you've just made a HUGE mistake. (like hitting send on that nasty email by mistake)

14. Adminisphere--The rarefied organizational layers imediately above the rank and file. The decisions that fall from the adminisphere are most often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. Crop Dusting--Surreptitously passing gas while walking through the cube farm.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!! THE WEEKEND IS ALMOST HERE!!!!!

(originally posted 6-15-06 on Yahoo 360)